Declining a Raise Request

Staff

Difficult Conversations

Firm but Warm

For when a staff member has asked for a raise and the answer is no — and you want to keep both the employee and the trust.

Use this after you've delivered the no in person — this email confirms the conversation, documents what was said, and puts your commitments in writing. Never let an email deliver the no itself; a raise request is an act of trust, and a written rejection with no conversation reads as dismissal of that trust.

A no without a path is how you lose people. The heart of this template is the commitment paragraph — the specific conditions under which the answer changes. If you can't fill in that paragraph honestly, the real conversation you need to have is with yourself about whether you're underpaying someone you can't afford to lose.

BEFORE YOU SEND

Make it yours: this email is ready to use as-is for one common version of this situation — edit to your style and your situation's needs. The reason (enrollment), the condition and check-in month, and the recognition sentence (the toddler room) are all sample content — every one must become your true numbers, your real condition, and their real strengths. A recognition sentence that doesn't fit them does more harm than none. If the path to yes is a credential rather than enrollment, rewrite the commitment paragraph around that.
Know your actual numbers before the conversation, not after. "I'll have to look into it" followed by silence is worse than a clear no.
Decide what would make the answer yes — a date, an enrollment number, a credential, a role change — and be prepared to name it specifically.
If the honest answer is "not this amount, but something," lead with what IS possible. This template assumes a full no; adapt if you can meet them partway.
Put the revisit date in your own calendar before you send this. If they have to chase you about it, every word below becomes hollow.

EMAIL TEMPLATE — EDITABLE

CUSTOMIZE FREELY

Subject:

Following Up on Our Conversation

Tone

Honest · Appreciative · Concrete

Hi [First Name],

Thank you again for talking with me [today / yesterday] — and for how you approached it. Asking directly takes confidence, and I want you to know the request didn't put me off. It's the kind of conversation I want us to be able to have.

I want to confirm what I shared: I'm not able to say yes to a raise right now. The honest reason is that our current enrollment doesn't support an increase to payroll this quarter. I'd rather give you the real picture than a vague answer that leaves you guessing.

Here's what I can commit to. When our enrollment holds at [number] for a full quarter, revisiting your compensation is at the top of my list — and I've put a check-in on my calendar for [Month] either way.

I also want to say clearly: you're valued here. What you've built with the toddler room this year — the calm, the routines, the way parents ask for you by name — hasn't gone unnoticed. This no is about the math, not about your worth to this program.

If you want to talk more about any of this — the timeline, the path, or anything else — my door is open.

[Your Name]

Click anywhere in the email to edit · Replace all [bracketed fields] with your specifics

Copy Email Reset to Original

Adapt It

You can offer something, just not the number they asked for: Restructure around the yes — "I can't get to [$X], but here's what I can do: [smaller increase / additional paid planning time / a schedule change / covering a credential]. I'd rather offer you something real today than a promise about someday." Partial yeses retain people far better than deferred ones.

The request came with a competing offer: Don't bid blind and don't guilt them. "I appreciate you bringing this to me instead of just leaving. I need [short, specific timeframe — days, not weeks] to see what's possible, and I'll come back to you by [Date] with a straight answer." Then do exactly that.

The no is about performance, not budget: Do not use this template — it hides the real issue inside a money conversation. Compensation conversations and performance conversations must be separate, or the employee hears "you're underperforming" as "we're underpaying you politely." Have the performance conversation first, on its own.

What Not To Say

"There's no money in the budget." — As a complete answer, it's a door slammed shut, and staff talk to each other about whose door got slammed. The template's version — a specific constraint plus a specific path — is the same fact with the future left open.
"You're already at the top of our pay scale." — Unless you follow it immediately with what could change that, you've just told your best person their ceiling is behind them.
"Others here have been waiting longer." — Now they're competing with coworkers instead of working toward a goal, and you've hinted at everyone's compensation in one sentence.
"Let's see where things are in a few months." — Which months? Vague timelines are noes wearing a costume, and everyone knows it. Name the date and calendar it, or don't imply one.

Declining a Raise Request

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