Leading Through Connection: Building Strong Teams in Childcare

2020 tested all of us in ways we never could have imagined, and childcare was no exception. Every day brought new challenges — cohort regulations, staff shortages, sanitization protocols that changed weekly. Most days I felt like I was holding things together by a thread.

During that period, I leaned heavily on my team — especially the staff who had been with me the longest. One of them stood out. She had recently earned her EMT certification and was preparing to leave the program for a new career. But when my assistant director asked about her plans, she said simply:

"I can't leave now. Sam needs me."

Those words meant everything. In the middle of so much uncertainty, her loyalty helped carry me through the hardest stretch of my career. She stayed — and today, she's my assistant director.

Her decision wasn't just an act of loyalty. It reflected the connection and trust we had built over years. It was a quiet reminder that strong teams are rooted in relationships.

Why Relationships Matter

In my early days as a director, I was consumed by policies, procedures, and to-do lists. Over time I came to understand something fundamental: I couldn't build a strong program without a strong team. My job wasn't just to manage logistics. It was to lead and support the people who bring the program to life.

When a team feels valued and supported, everything else becomes easier. Parents trust us to keep their children safe and engaged. Staff are the ones who shape those experiences day after day. My job is to give them what they need to give the children their best.

When staff feel seen, they invest more deeply. That connection becomes pride. Pride shows up in the quality of the program.

How to Keep Great Staff

Few things are more disheartening than when a strong employee hands in their two weeks' notice. It's not just a staffing gap. It's a disruption to routines, team morale, and the families and children who notice the absence.

So how do we keep the best ones? How do we build an environment where they want to stay and grow?

It starts with genuine care and connection.

Retention isn't just a turnover statistic. It's about protecting the heart of the program — the people. Experienced staff are irreplaceable, not just for their skills but for the relationships they've built with children, families, and each other. When they feel appreciated, loyalty follows naturally.

Leadership Is Personal

One of the most important lessons I've learned as a director is that leadership is personal. It's about building real, meaningful relationships with each team member. Issuing directives or checking boxes at evaluations isn't enough. You have to actually know your people.

Small, thoughtful gestures — asking about their weekend, remembering their kids' names, noticing when something is off — show genuine care. I make an intentional effort to connect with my team about their lives outside the center. Birthdays. Anniversaries. The little personal milestones. Acknowledging these things tells staff they're valued as people, not just employees.

That kind of trust builds an environment where people feel safe sharing challenges and ideas. It opens the door to honest feedback and real collaboration — and those are the things that strengthen the program.

The Power of Appreciation

Recognition matters. A simple thank-you, a public acknowledgment in front of peers, a note highlighting someone's effort — these have a lasting impact. Being present in the day-to-day, observing and listening, lets you catch the small wins that would otherwise go unnoticed.

It can be as simple as: "I saw how patient you were with that child." Or: "You handled that parent conversation so well." These small moments lift confidence and reinforce the behavior you want more of.

Creating a Positive Workplace

A positive workplace doesn't happen by accident. It's built with intention. Leaders set the tone. By addressing conflicts promptly and fairly, setting clear expectations, and modeling collaboration, you create an environment where staff feel valued and respected.

Check in regularly. Listen to concerns without rushing to solve them. Follow through on what you say you'll do. When staff know their leader has their back, they're far more likely to show up fully — not just for the work, but for each other.

One More Thought

The story of my staff member choosing to stay during the hardest year of my career has stayed with me for a reason. When she said, "Sam needs me," it wasn't about her job title or her daily tasks. It was about trust. Connection. The relationships we'd built across years.

It's easy to get pulled in every direction — schedules, policies, endless responsibilities. But at the center of it all are the people who make the program thrive. When we take the time to show up, listen, and appreciate the team, we build a culture where people feel valued, supported, and inspired.

You don't just want staff to work for you. You want them to want to work with you. That sense of purpose and connection is what turns a job into something they invest in.

It's the small, consistent moments — the thoughtful words, the recognition, the genuine support — that build the trust that carries you through everything else.

Worth Sitting With

• Which staff member am I leaning on without really seeing? When was the last time I told them what they mean to the program?
• What's one personal detail about each of my team members that I should know but don't?
• If the next crisis hit tomorrow, who would I count on — and have I built enough relational equity that they'd be there?

Lead With Less Weight on Your Shoulders.

Building real relationships with your team is the work that holds everything else together. The Director's Toolkit inside Director Zen gives you the conversation guides, one-on-one frameworks, and people management tools to lead with connection — without it adding to your plate. Start Your Membership →

This blog is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or regulatory advice. Childcare regulations vary by state — check with your local licensing agency to ensure compliance.