Leading With Calm When the Stakes Are High

Before I owned my own centers, I was promoted to Vice President of Operations for a local childcare organization in Southern California.

That promotion occurred right before the Great Recession — a season that would reshape businesses across the country. National reporting later estimated that more than 200,000 small businesses closed during that period, representing millions of lost jobs.

Childcare was not immune.

From 2008 to 2012, our company experienced a steady decline in enrollment. Each year required harder decisions.

In the first year, we eliminated janitorial services and handled cleaning in-house. We reduced budgets and scaled back excess hours where possible.

In the second year, the administrative team took reductions first. Administrative salaries were lowered, and quarterly bonuses were eliminated.

By the third year, we limited new full-time hires and reduced some full-time staff to 35 hours per week to preserve positions rather than eliminate them entirely.

We did everything we could to protect our teachers.

But by year four, enrollment was down nearly 60% at some centers. We had reached a point where further scaling was unavoidable.

The owner faced two options: layoffs or pay cuts.

He chose pay cuts — for everyone.

And I was asked to communicate the news at our annual new school year training.

Historically, that training was full of excitement — games, food, energy, anticipation for the year ahead.

This year would be different.

This year, I would be standing in front of our entire staff to tell them their pay was being reduced.

I spent weeks preparing.

Not because I feared the conversation — but because I understood the weight of it.

Most of our staff did not know the full story of the previous four years. They didn’t see the administrative reductions. They weren’t aware of how many adjustments had already been made to avoid impacting them.

If we were asking them to sacrifice, they deserved context.

They deserved honesty.

They deserved direction.

So I walked them through the journey — the enrollment decline, the steps already taken, and the financial reality. I showed them the numbers. I explained why this decision, though difficult, was necessary to keep our doors open.

There was no dramatics. No panic.

Just clarity.

Then I introduced the theme of the presentation:

The Road to Recovery.

I knew this wasn’t the end of our journey — but the beginning of a different path forward.

We reviewed a detailed plan for retention, rebuilding enrollment, strengthening operations, and restoring stability.

As I presented, I watched the body language of the staff.

It wasn’t cold.

It wasn’t standoffish.

There was emotion, yes. But there was also unity.

We did not lose a single staff member as a result of that announcement.

Together, with our amazing staff, enrollment began to grow again. We weathered the recession.

And less than a year later, I stood before them once more — this time to announce not only a full restoration of pay, but raises.

That experience reinforced something I have never forgotten:

Change does not have to destroy morale.

Change Isn’t the Problem — Uncertainty Is

Over the years, I’ve learned that change itself rarely causes panic.

Uncertainty does.

When people don’t understand:

• Why something is happening
• What has already been done
• What the plan is
• Whether leadership is steady

Their minds fill in the gaps.

And those gaps almost always fill with worst-case scenarios.

As leaders, we cannot eliminate change.

But we can eliminate unnecessary uncertainty.

Why Leaders Accidentally Create Panic

Most owners and directors don’t intend to create anxiety. But it happens when:

• We rush through explanations.
• We seem unsure or apologetic.
• We over-explain and overwhelm.
• We introduce change without context.
• We avoid questions because we fear pushback.

Sometimes we announce change quickly to “get it over with.”

Sometimes we soften it so much that it sounds negotiable when it’s not.

Sometimes we present it with tension in our voice — and tension spreads.

Your tone communicates more than your policy.

Your posture communicates more than your presentation.

People are watching for steadiness.

A Steady Way to Communicate Change

I’ve found that most panic doesn’t come from the decision itself — it comes from how it’s delivered. Having a framework can help.

Communication Framework:

1. What is changing
2. Why it is changing
3. What is not changing
4. How it affects them
5. What support is available

Whether the change is a licensing mandate, an internal system shift, or something entirely unforeseen — like the early days of COVID — the structure of your communication matters.

For example, when lockdown restrictions lifted in Southern California, we were no longer allowed to let parents inside the building. Drop-off now required detailed health screenings for every child before entry.

Families were already anxious. Staff were exhausted. Emotions were high.

If that change had been delivered abruptly or without a plan, it would have intensified stress.

Instead, calm communication followed a steady rhythm.

1.  What is Changing

First, be clear about what is changing.

“We will no longer allow parents inside the building during drop-off. All children will complete a health screening at the entrance before entering.”

Clarity reduces speculation.

2. Why it is Changing

Then explain why.

“This policy follows state guidance designed to protect staff, children, and families as we return safely.”

When people understand the reason, they are less likely to assume hidden motives.

3. What is Not Changing

Next, reinforce what is not changing.

“Our commitment to connection with families remains strong. Our focus on your child’s well-being is unchanged.”

Stability calms uncertainty.

4. How it Will Affect Them

Then acknowledge how it affects them.

“This will require adjusting morning routines. We know it may feel inconvenient at first.”

Specificity prevents imagination from exaggerating the impact.

Finally, communicate support.

“We will have additional staff at the entrance to make the process smooth. If concerns arise, we will address them together.”

Support turns disruption into direction.

When change is delivered in this way — clear, contextual, steady, supportive — resistance softens.

Not because people love change but because they trust the leader guiding it.

Handling Resistance Without Escalation

Resistance is not rebellion. It’s human nature.

When pushback comes:

Pause.

Do not match emotion with emotion.

Instead of defending, try:

“I understand this feels like a big shift.”
“Tell me what concerns you most.”

Listening does not weaken authority.

It strengthens trust.

Calm leadership does not argue.

It anchors.

Transparency Without Oversharing

Transparency builds trust.

But oversharing builds anxiety.

You do not need to:

• Reveal every internal frustration
• Criticize licensing authorities
• Apologize excessively
• Share unverified concerns

You can acknowledge difficulty without amplifying it.

“This is challenging. And we will navigate it together.”

Confidence builds security.

The Leader Sets the Temperature

In that recession meeting years ago, I learned something critical.

The staff did not react to the numbers first.

They reacted to my steadiness.

If I had been defensive, anxious, or uncertain, the room would have mirrored it.

Instead, calm created calm.

You do not need to be unemotional. You need to be regulated.

There is a difference.

When Change Is Emotional

Some changes hit deeper.

A beloved teacher leaving.
A tuition increase.
A classroom closure.

In those moments:

Slow down.

Acknowledge emotion.

“This is hard. I know this affects you.”

Validation reduces volatility.

Then bring it back to direction.

“Here’s how we move forward.”

Repetition Prevents Rumors

Announcing change once is not enough.

Repeat it.

Clarify it.

Follow up in writing.

Review it in meetings.

Rumors grow in silence. Clarity grows in repetition.

Reflection

• How do you feel when you communicate change?
• Do you rush through difficult announcements?
• Do you soften them to avoid discomfort?
• Are you clear about what stays the same?
• Does your tone communicate confidence?

Your staff are not just listening to your words. They are reading your steadiness.

Key Takeaways

• Change does not cause panic — uncertainty does.
• Your tone sets the emotional temperature of the room.
• Clarity reduces speculation.
• Always explain why the change is happening.
• Reinforce what is not changing.
• Invite questions without becoming defensive.
• Repeat communication to prevent rumor.
• Calm leadership builds trust during disruption.