The average person now spends over five hours a day on their phone.

We don't call it an addiction; we call it "staying connected." But this constant connection isn't free. It’s a tax on your effectiveness, your focus, and—most importantly—your drive.

When the World Slowed Down—and My Focus Slipped

When the pandemic hit, our centers in California were mandated to close our facilities due to the Stay at Home Order. Unfortunately, what we thought would be a two-week "blip" turned into months.

At first, the closure felt like a small vacation. But as the weeks stretched on, uncertainty crept in. Eventually, when we did reopen, enrollment dropped from about 800 kids a day to fewer than 60 as we were only allowed to care for "essential workers."

The physical workload was lighter, but the mental weight was crushing. Nothing seemed normal. There were weekly orders and mandates to regulate childcare; we had learning pods, health checks, and required reporting of new COVID cases. The combination of losing over 90% of our business, new requirements, and extra free time was not a good combination.

I coped with the stress by scrolling in my free time. And in that season, there was a lot of new free time. Doomscrolling filled the empty space. Social media delivered those tiny hits of dopamine in a season where nothing else felt certain.

Eventually, the world reopened, and after nearly two years, our enrollment topped 800 children again.

The kids came back and the schedules filled up, but I hadn't fully returned.

My focus wasn’t as sharp. My passion felt muted. Even my mental stamina felt "thin." When I checked my Screen Time report, it wasn't the total hours that unsettled me—it was the reflexive, habitual checking.

The dopamine loop had recalibrated my brain to crave high-frequency stimulation, making the "slow" work of leadership—forecasting, planning, budgeting, policy-writing, and deep listening—feel incredibly difficult.

The Motivation Drain: Why You Feel "Muted"

There is a reason your passion feels dampened after a period of heavy social media use. It’s not just a lack of sleep; it’s a shift in your brain chemistry.

Social media platforms are designed using "variable reward schedules"—the same psychology behind slot machines.

Every scroll is a gamble for a hit of dopamine. When we overstimulate these pathways, our "baseline" for what feels rewarding shifts.

Studies suggest that constant high-frequency digital stimulation can lead to a decrease in reward sensitivity.

In plain English: when your brain gets used to the "high" of a viral video or a notification every 30 seconds, the "slow-burn" satisfaction of finishing a budget or coaching a teacher feels boring by comparison.

You haven’t lost your talent; you’ve just temporarily lost your ability to find the "slow" work rewarding.

The Productivity Illusion

During the day, we receive a text or a social share and think, "I'll just take a quick look." We check that one TikTok or reel, and 20 minutes later, we’re still scrolling.

We like to tell ourselves we're just "multitasking," but science says otherwise.

Researchers at UC Irvine found that after a single interruption, it takes an average of 23 minutes to fully refocus.

They call this Attention Residue. When you glance at a notification and then look back at your staffing schedule, a part of your brain is still stuck on that notification.

The day can sometime go like this:

• Check a text while walking to a classroom.
• Scroll for 3 minutes between parent tours.
• Glance at a notification while a teacher is talking.

Each switch feels small, but cumulatively, they erode your ability to do "Deep Work."

You aren't just distracted when you use the phone; you’re distracted simply by the anticipation of using it.

Even having your phone visible on your desk reduces your cognitive capacity because your brain has to use energy just to ignore it.

The Leadership Cost of Fragmentation

When your attention is fragmented, your leadership becomes fragmented.

1. The Decision-Making Drain-Strategic leadership requires sustained focus. If you find yourself "tired" after only 20 minutes of planning, it’s likely a brain adapted to high-frequency distraction. You're exhausted from the switching, not the work.
2. The Emotional Fuse-Phone use before bed suppresses melatonin and degrades sleep quality. Poor sleep means a shorter emotional fuse. You lose the margin you need to handle a frustrated parent or a staff conflict with grace.
3. The Presence Signal-Staff, parents, and children all read your presence. If you are half-present in a meeting because you're thinking about a notification, you are signaling that the screen is more important than the person in front of you.

The Shift: Reclaiming Your Agency

This isn’t about going "off the grid." It’s about protecting your most valuable asset: your attention. Here are four simple rules for strategic disconnection:

• Phone-Free Windows: Set 60–90 minute blocks where the phone is in a drawer. Use this for "heavy lifting" like licensing prep or forecasting.
• The "Parking Lot" Rule: When you are in a classroom or a meeting, the phone stays out of sight. Give 100% of your "leadership currency" to the person in front of you.
• The Digital Sunset: Stop the scroll 60 minutes before bed. Give your brain the "cool down" it needs to recover.
• Weekly Sunday Audit: Check your Screen Time every Sunday night. You can't manage what you don't measure.

The Grace to Start Over

Here is the reality: I am as guilty of this as anyone else. There are weeks when I stay disciplined, and there are weeks when the stress gets high and I find myself back in the reflexive scroll.

When you see your Screen Time report spike or realize you’ve spent your morning responding to pings instead of leading your people, don't beat yourself up.

Like every other challenge in childcare—whether it’s a staffing crisis or a licensing audit—we don't aim for perfection; we aim for growth.

If you slip, just acknowledge it, put the phone in the drawer, and start the next 90-minute block fresh. Instead of beating ourselves up, we learn, grow, and keep getting better.

Try It. You Might Even LOVE it!

The studies and the science should be enough of a reason to reduce our social media intake. But the real proof isn’t in a research paper—it’s in how you feel. Once you experience what it’s like to regain your time, your passion, and your drive, it's transformative. You won’t want to go back.

Try it out for yourself. I recommend committing to it for at least two weeks. Don't worry about the rest of the year—just focus on the next 14 days.

Watch what happens to your "muted" passion. Notice if your patience with that difficult parent or that struggling teacher starts to return. Observe the clarity that surfaces when you stop taxing your brain with constant interruptions. You might just find that the "drive" you thought you lost wasn't gone at all. It was just buried under the noise. It’s time to clear the space and lead with everything you’ve got.

Reflection for the Leader

• Check the stats: How many hours did you spend on your phone yesterday? (iPhone: Settings > Screen Time > See All App & Website Activity). Here you can see how much time you spent on each app on your phone for the day.
• Check the depth: When was the last time you worked for 90 minutes without a single micro-interruption?
• Check the fuel: Are you actually tired from your workload, or are you drained from constant context-switching?

Key Takeaways

• Attention is a leadership asset. Protect it like you protect your budget.
• Attention Residue is real. Every "quick check" costs you 23 minutes of peak performance.
• Presence is your best marketing tool. People stay where they feel seen.
• Reclaiming your focus allows your passion to return. Boundaries aren't restrictions; they are performance tools.