Earning Cooperation Through “Choices”

Working with children inevitably means dealing with the occasional tantrum. Not every child will love every part of your routine—and that’s normal. However, offering the right choices at the right time often transforms that resistance into cooperation.

Integrated strategically, choice becomes a bridge, turning potential power struggles into cooperative partnerships. Think of it as "greasing the wheels." During transitions, a choice allows a child to move from "I have to" to "I get to," shifting their mindset from resistance to ownership.

Keep these strategies in mind:

Master the "Either/Or" Pair: Avoid open-ended questions like "What do you want to do?" which can overwhelm a child. Instead, provide two positive options: "Do you want to clean up blocks or books first?"

Pivot the Non-Negotiables: Never offer a choice if you aren't prepared for the answer. If a task is required, frame the choice around the process: "Do you want to use the blue soap or the green?"

Developmental Fit: Toddlers need simple "this or that" options to avoid overwhelm, while preschoolers handle more nuanced choices that focus on the when or the how.